Every weekend, there is always a wedding going on in one church or the other. That is actually the culmination of a journey that got a 'yes' when it's continuation was proposed to a lady.
Guys, you might get very upset if you ask a lady to marry you and she says she won't. Here are tips from Onuora Ikechukwu Onianwa, a suave guy with fluid advice that will make you see some salient things to note before you pop the question to that lady you want to spend the rest of your life with...Read, learn and enjoy.
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Sometimes I get asked by males why someone they like and want to be with doesn't want to be with them.
The truth is this is not a shocking thing. It is very normal and you need to be calm about it. Here are a few things to note.
1. Are You a Good and Responsible Person?
Sometimes the person has seen evidence that you're not a serious and honest person. Why then should they be into you? Would you, in their place?
As I heard someone say one day; many men today won't want their relations or children to date someone like them but they want someone else's child to do so. It makes no sense.
2. Are They Ready and are You?
You cannot expect a person who knows their priorities to shift them for you. That is selfish and immature, and it already shows you are not also ready since love is patient and not forceful or manipulative.
If this person is not interested in a relationship yet or any time soon, you're either going to wait or leave. It makes no sense to be proud and angry she isn't willing when you are.
3. They Need Time To Process It:
As I recently told someone I mentor, relationships are a huge responsibility, but we have so many kids playing around with it, because they have no idea what it is about.
Understand that this person may need time to think it through and be sure they can handle it.
In fact if they don't think about it at all, or have any questions or things they want clarified, you should be a bit concerned. The bible says no one should start something when they haven't counted the cost to know if they can finish it.
4. Manner Of Approach:
Some people are so arrogant and condescending that before the talk is half way through, the lady is walking away. You're not talking to an idiot or a stupid person, neither is she your servant. Speak plainly but respectfully.
If she says she wants to think about it, don't start calling her every day and night, pestering her, stalking her at school, Church, at work and on Facebook. Stop asking about any man she takes pictures with. She's not yet your girlfriend/wife so it isn't your business. Even if she is, she has a private life. As long as nothing is going on or you have no proof, stop monitoring and checkmating her. She's not your daughter.
5. Do You Know What You Want and Where You're Are Headed?
Many men assume that since they have a Job, a car and a house they are ready for marriage. This ties in to some other points I've already mentioned but I want to separate it because there's a fresh point to make here.
One key thing about asking a woman out and courting her is being clear and plain.
Consider it like a project defence in your final year and she is the supervisor you're presenting to.
You cannot just walk in there and start boasting about how you're a good student (man), how many A's you've had (how much you have and how you work at Shell ), so she should say yes. If she does, she's not serious and it's clear money and comfort is all she wants. You aren't serious either, if you think that's what it takes.
*PS. Telling her you Iike her size, hips, lips or shape, or that she's sexy, isn't a reason to start a relationship and is a pretty silly thing to say, really.
A serious woman wants to know; "why me?"
Why not Maria or Chinenye? Why am I being asked? OK you work at Shell, so? Where will you be in the next few years? What plans do you have for this relationship? is it marriage or just casual dating and sex? What is the focus?
Little boys are the ones who get offended with such questions because they think she is being proud and foolish, or pretending. They expect their money and charisma is enough. It isn't. It will never be, if she's a serious woman.
So, in conclusion, the next time you ask someone out or want to, sit and ask yourself a few questions first. People do not have to agree because you asked and are interested. It doesn't work that way.